1 Peter 1:6-7-My Favorite Bible Verse 12/14/2016

This is my favorite Bible verse.  Growing up in church people would often ask “what’s your favorite bible verse.” It’s part of Christian culture for this topic to come up and I always hated being asked, because I never had one. I enjoyed reading the bible and learning the truths of God’s heart, but often I never felt connected to any specific scripture.  It stayed that way for me until I was 19 years old.  19 was one of the hardest years of my life. My extended family went through a harsh break down that affected me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I was devastated by the breakdown in my family and by the lies that were being told regarding me and my character (along with the character of my parents). It felt like too much to bear. The rejection felt unfair and unwarranted. I desperately wanted answers, yet no one would give them to me. I wanted to know what I could do to fix it, but my desperate attempts to mend the broken relationships with my extended relatives only left me more wounded and rejected.

I also felt the farthest away from God that I had ever felt before. One day God led me on a study to 1 Peter. It was in that study that I found this scripture:

 6In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, 7so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (verse via Biblehub).

I felt like I had my answers. To this day, I’ve never been able to get my family to express why they rejected me, but I felt like God answered my question of why. The answer was because I needed it. I need the trials. I needed the persecution. I needed the rejection to test the genuineness of my faith. God needed to show me where I was in my faith beliefs. He needed to show me where I was when I was being hurt- would I still trust Him? Would I still love Him? Would I still believe he was good if everyone I loved and wanted acceptance from came against me?

I still hold on to this scripture when I am in times of struggle, testing or trials. I always look to first Peter to remind myself that if I am being tested, it is to prove the genuineness of my faith. To be refined. To be more like Christ.

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

Scripture Memory Techniques 12/12/2016

Scripture memory is a vital part of the transformation process.  We need to memorize scripture to transform our hearts and minds and to make us more like Christ.  Scripture memory, however, is not an easy discipline to get the hang of. Here are a few tips on memorizing scripture. I hope they’re helpful!

1.      Chose a translation that resonates with you. I really enjoy the flow of the NKJV and Amplified Bible’s. I find that I am best able to remember when memorizing in these versions.  I also find that when I use a translation that I am emotionally connected to that it is able to penetrate my spirit more easily.

2.      Don’t scripture hop- I find that working on one scripture until I know it backwards and forwards helps me in the scripture memory process. Sometimes it can be easy to jump around and half-heartedly learn parts of scriptures but in order for the word to be as effective as possible, it is vital that we fully understand and remember each verse we set out to memorize.

3.      Use tools such as index cards, scripture typer apps, etc.  There are a myriad of scripture typer tools  you can download on your computer or smart phone to help you with the memorization process. I highly suggest finding and consistently implementing any tools that help in your scripture memory process.

4.      Be consistent- taking ten or fifteen minutes every day is enough to help you memorize your scriptures effectively. The key is going over them daily or almost daily.

5.      Choose a realistic memorization number. Make sure you are realistic with the amount of scriptures you aim to memorize at a given time. I think 2-4 scriptures per month is an excellent goal, though you can memorize more or less as you feel comfortable. When I first started memorizing scriptures, I was very extreme. I would try to memorize 5 or more scriptures per week. I so desperately wanted God to transform me that I thought in order for that to happen I had to memorize copious amounts of scriptures at a time. What I have found is that God was able to transform me with completely learning one or two scriptures a month than trying to learn 20 scriptures half heartedly.

 

Love and blessings on your scripture memory journey.

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

How to Pick a Church 12/8/16

Picking a church can be a tough thing to do. Whether you are new to the faith or you are in transition and looking for a new place to worship, finding a fellowship house can be a tricky experience. Here are a few things to look for when deciding on how to choose a church.

1.      Evaluate what you need spiritually. If you are a brand new believer, you need detailed teachings of the scripture and how to apply them to your life. Thus you would need to be in a church where there is a strong discipleship program or heavy biblical teaching. If you are struggling to develop your prayer life or press into worship, you may want to seek out a church that is strong in these areas. If you need support in your single life or are newly married, you may want to fellowship in a place that will encourage your growth in these stages of your life. You need to take an honest look at what you need spiritually and seek out a church with that in mind.

2.      Make sure the core beliefs are scripturally accurate. When choosing a church you should make sure that the church believes in The Trinity, Salvation and the process of transformation, the immaculate conception, heaven and hell and Christ return.  If churches do not believe in these things, they are in some level of error and should not be attended. This is not a difference in doctrine. These are core tenets in the gospel and if a church does not believe in these they are not a church you would want to attend.

3.      Don’t get caught in tradition. Perhaps you grew up in a church where there was a choir. Don’t be afraid to choose a church  with a worship team. Maybe your last church had a pastor that was of your same ethnic background, don’t be afraid to choose a church with a pastor who is a different ethnic background than your own. Perhaps your old church did not use the baptism of the Holy Spirit, don’t be afraid to look into a church that does. It is okay to choose a church that does things that are different than traditions you are use to, as long as their behavior is not anti-scriptural.

4.      Beware of churches with one-sided messages. Now, I think it is important to point out that every pastor is given a specific call from God when it comes to how he or she ministers. For example, some pastor’s are called to minister to people from the inner city, some from the country. Other’s are called to college ministry and some to family centered congregations. So with that in mind, every pastor is going to have a bias or a tilt in what and how they preach. However, if a pastor’s teachings are so one-sided that they only teach about grace and love and never about holiness, sin or the transformation of the believer’s heart, this is problematic. Church should not only encourage us, it should also cause us to feel conviction. This being said, if you never leave church feeling even just a little convicted, there may be a little bit of bias present and you will want to be careful of that.

5.      Beware of churches that exclude people on leadership based on age, gender, class, or race. This is not biblical. God has called people of  both genders (male and female), all races, ages and economic class groups to preach the good news. If you visit a church that doesn’t allow women, certain ethnic groups or people of various ages in their pulpit, run in the opposite direction. (See Galatians 3:28)

6.      Consider the practicalities: Is the church close enough that you could get there consistently? If you have children, does the church have a children’s program or is the church open to a children’s program being started? Is the church willing to let you serve (note I do not mean necessarily on leadership. But be sure that the church wants to allow you to serve even if it is in hospitality, fellowship ministry, etc.)

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

Habits of Highly Successful Christian Women 12/7/2016

It's Wednesday and I hope each of you is having a good week. I can't believe that we're already a week into December. 2016 is winding down and the new year is fast approaching. I hope this short post encourages you.

Habits of Highly Successful Christian Women:

1.      They seek Christ first. This is probably a given, but a successful Christian woman can’t be a success without first seeking the Lord. It is the Lord who leads and guides us so if he isn’t first, we’re putting ourselves in a position where we cannot be successful.

2.      They sit properly under authority- There is no such thing as not being under authority. I don’t care if you are 10 or 100. Successful Christian women know how to biblically stay under authority. They also attempt to right any wrong relationships that they have with authority.

3.      They seek to develop their health in every dimension: mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, vocational, and social. Successful Christian women know it is imperative that they are healthy in every sense of the word. They know they need to have healthy bodies, minds, spirits and relationships. They also know that they need to have a healthy relationship with the vocation God has called them too (i.e. they should pursue it with passion, but it should not be an idol.)

4.      They work on their junk, until they are healed. They don’t stay in a perpetual state of healing. God is a God of completion. He wants us to move from one season to the next. We should never be in a space of perpetual healing. A successful Christian woman looks at her hurt, pain, addictions, etc. and faces them head on. She works on them until she is healed and completely set free. She doesn’t stay in a state of perpetual healing, but rather she does what she needs to do so that she can be an emotionally whole woman.

5.      They seek the purpose God has for their life, before they seek a mate. Marriage is an option. Fulfilling your purpose is not. Each of us has a God ordained purpose that we were born to fulfill. That purpose should coincide with the purpose our future mate has been called to as well. If we don’t know our purpose and are not seeking to fulfill it we are a). disobeying God and b). not in a place to attract the Godly man we should be with.

6.      They learn how to wait well. Successful Christian women are patient and are willing to wait for God’s best (without an attitude or complaint), until his timing provides. They don’t throw grown up tantrums. They don’t have an attitude when God doesn’t give them what they want, when they want it. Instead, they do what they are supposed to do, when they are supposed to do it.

7.      They become good a knowing how to make a stand for Christ. Successful Christian women know how to explain and defend their faith. They know how to be good examples of believers in both word and deed.

8.      They don’t compare. Successful Christian women don’t compare themselves to other Christian women (or any women for that matter). It’s ridiculous to compare yourself to your sister and that’s exactly what other Christian women are, your sister’s in Christ.

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

Four Tips to Help You Embrace Change 12-6-16

I’m the first to admit I hate change. Seriously, I hate it. I’ve gotten misty eyed at the semester when classes end and I have to anticipate adapting to a new set of classmates and a new set of professors. I love routine. I crave stability. It’s something about me that has been both a help and a hindrance. Despite my need and utter longing for consistency, as I’ve grown and matured I’ve found that nothing in life is predictable and stable, except the love of God, taxes, and change itself. So with that being said, I’ve had to adjust to a plethora of coping mechanisms to help me adapt to my ever changing life and this ever changing world.  Here are four techniques I’ve used to help me embrace change.

1.      Grieve: The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastics there is a season for everything under the sun. I used to avoid this chapter like the plague, because it is essentially a promise that change is inevitable. Since I can’t avoid upcoming seasons and I can’t transport myself back to seasons that I enjoyed in the past, I’ve had to learn to cope with change. One way that I’ve learned how to cope with change is to learn how to grieve. Yes grieving is not just for a death experience. Grief is also helpful in any situation where there is a loss. Loss can come in many forms. Sometimes loss is a death, but sometimes loss is a change in routine, location, friendship, etc. Loss in any form is difficult and since change so often embodies a space of loss, we have to give ourselves the opportunity to grieve it.

2.      Remember past times, fondly: So often when we are facing change, it is easy to feel like looking back is a bad thing. Not necessarily. Now, it’s not healthy to get stuck in your past; but it is healthy to fondly look back on past times and experiences.

3.      Prepare appropriately: If you haven’t finished what you needed to in the last season, it will make it difficult for you to appropriately transition and settle into a new season. When you know change is on the horizon, prepare for it by completing everything in your current season so you can move on, with little to no strings attached.

4.      Make a list of new things to accomplish or experience in your new season- part of the difficulty of change is that so often, we focus on what we leave behind rather than what we are gaining by moving forward. If we focused on what lies ahead, we will have excitement and hopefulness rather than dread for what we are leaving behind.

 

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

 

Why Church Community Matters 12/5/2016

Have you ever heard the saying “even the Lone Ranger had Tonto?” It’s a proverbial truth that essentially reminds us that nothing we desire to do can be done alone. I am the queen of “do it myself.” But something the Lord has been teaching me in my 20’s is how important it is to have a team and build community. Salvation is a tale of relationship. God never intended for us to do life alone. He wants his children to be in an intimate relationship with him and with each other. Church community is that fellowship together of his children. And it is so, so very important.

I have a younger brother and no one understands our parents like he and I do, because we were raised by them. We are a part of the same family. We share the same bloodline and the same lineage. We hold the same inheritance. We are loved equally, by the same two people on earth. That is a unique experience that only he and I share because we are both children to Michael and Mallory Gary. It’s the same thing when you a child of God. Your brothers and sisters in Christ (or church family) understand God on a level that only his children can. They understand his love, his grace, his favor and even his chastisement in a way that only his children can.

There is a uniqueness in the community that is being a believer. With all that being said, it is so important that we hold on to each other. Not only is it a command found in Hebrews 10:24-25, but it is so necessary to the advancement of our own walks with Christ. I need my brothers and sisters in Christ to help me develop and become more like our father. And since God is their daddy too, they understand him and can help me become more like him than women in the world can.

As the times grow darker, we need people who get us, who can keep us accountable, who can show us love and mercy when we screw it up (and we all will screw it up at some point) and snatch us out of hell if they see us slipping in our walks. We need each other. We are strongest when we are intertwined in this walk of faith together.

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

 

Friday Resource: Blanca 12/2/2016

What is resource Friday?

Every Friday I feature a musician, poet, author, entrepreneur or speaker who has incredible material. I believe that as Christians we can help one another grow by providing each other with Biblically sound resources. Every resource I suggest is of someone who's work I truly believe in and/or use myself.

This week’s resource: Blanca

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If you like pop music infused with hip hop and R&B, you will love Blanca's self-titled debut album. Some of my favorite songs from the album are: Forever Love, Greater is He, Chosen Ones and Today.
Happy Listening!
XOXO,
Myah

Being a Christian in Academia -12/1/2016

Sometimes it still surprises me that I’m in academia. I didn’t think I would ever be here, pursing a doctorate degree. Honestly, until the door opened, it was never something I was interested in doing. I didn’t care about getting an upper level degree. My story (especially post high school until now) is a true testament of the steps of the righteous being ordered. But this isn’t the space for my testimony. Instead, we’re going to fast forward a bit and talk about the things I’ve learned in the process of pursuing my PhD. I began my doctoral studies in the summer of 2014. In fact I graduated with my Master’s on Saturday and I was in my first doctoral class on Monday! In the process of pursuing my PhD here are a few of the things I have learned.

1.      Your degree, even if in a non-Christian field is for the Lord. I always felt called to do some form of ministry so when I found myself pursuing upper level degrees, especially my PhD, I was unsure of how I was going to be able to use that degree to glorify God and how it was going to move me closer to ministry. What I soon learned is that the degree in and of itself was ministry! I quickly learned that this degree is not just so I can be Dr. Myah Gary. This degree is a part of the stepping stone to wherever God is planning to take me in ministry. Thus, I have a responsibility to steward it appropriately.

2.      You’re going to feel like you don’t have enough time. And if you don’t put the Lord first, you won’t. Working on a graduate degree often feels a lot like working on a marathon, while sprinting. You’re going to have class, a full time job or a graduate assistantship, conferences, clubs and meetings. Oh yeah, and there’s this little thing you will have to do called “studying.” You will have many things pulling at your attention, but what I have found is that when I put the Lord before my school work (having my prayer time, being faithful in church, serving in church and taking some type of Sabbath) that God always redeems the time and I always get things done when I need to.

3.      You’re going to have to fight to put God first. And speaking of putting God first, you’re going to have to fight to put him first. The enemy (and people) will try to tell you that your academic journey will be all consuming. Anything that is all consuming outside of God is idolatry. Everything needs a place and God needs to be placed first.

4.      It is an incredible opportunity to be light in a valley of dry bones. Being in a predominately anti-God and anti-religion field, I often found myself in a place where I was the only Christian. My beliefs have been tested on numerous occasions. I’ve had professors and colleagues question my judgment and my radical faith. Being in academia has caused me to put no confidence in the flesh and has completely severed my approval addiction. When I first started grad school, I wanted people to like me so badly I was willing to be silent about my faith all together. Now that I am half-way through my doctorate and I have had many experiences (and tons of practice) taking a stand, I am very comfortable with taking a stand for my faith.  

5.      Pursing a PhD is about collecting resources as much as it is about collecting knowledge. You will not have enough time to disseminate all of the information your teachers will give you. You will have to learn how to skim. You will have to learn how to pick out what the important readings are and store away the rest. The goal of the PhD is that you become an “expert” in one thing (the topic you write your dissertation on) and that you have a wealth of resources on how to obtain other necessary knowledge.

6.      If you struggle with perfectionism, God is going to seriously break that down. I’ve struggled with perfectionism since I was a little girl. I hated the feeling of not being able to do everything perfectly. What God has taught me is that his grace is truly sufficient. I have often found myself in a place where I was unable to study as much as I wanted, or read as much as I needed and God has ALWAYS covered me. I could not rely on my ego and on working hard. Instead I’ve had to learn to rely on his grace covering the parts of my academic journey where I was weak, tired or behind.

This is just a glimpse into my academic journey and what the Lord has taught me in grad school. I hope it blesses you.

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

 

Serving in Church- 11/23/2016

Happy Almost Thanksgiving! I hope you will be spending this holiday with people you love, surrounded by lots of delicious food. I love the holidays like the next gal ! The food, the family, the gifts... The holidays are truly my favorite time of year. I am not naturally a person who enjoys serving but I've found that during the holidays it is easier for me to serve because I am in such a festive mood.  As God's daughter, something I've learned overtime is he wants me to serve not just on the holidays, but regularly throughout the year. That being said, one place we should serve is in our church body. As Christians, we have a responsibility to serve where we fellowship. Within church there are always a plethora of places to serve. Your pastor and the leadership need help! Once you are plugged into a church you need to serve in a way that maximizes your God-given abilities. Here are a few ways I serve in my local church:

1.      Worship Pastor –I serve by choosing worship songs, doing worship power points, finding scriptural references for the worship songs, doing rehearsal and praying over the worship.

2.      Benevolence Team- I help get benevolence (giving) projects organized and efficiently ran.

3.      Discipleship Leader- I help teach young women about the word of God in weekly or bi-monthly sessions.

What are some ways you serve in your church?
XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

Three Things I've Learned About Developing Faith- November 4, 2016

By personality, I am not an individual who goes to the Lord often and asks’ Him to increase my faith. In the early part of my walk, growing in faith was not something that was attractive to me. I wanted more knowledge, a deeper prayer life, to experience the Holy Spirit in worship- but faith was not something I often asked the Lord for. To be honest, I think it is because in a lot of ways I didn’t feel like I needed faith. I believed I was the type of woman who trusted God easily and for the most part, I did and I still do. I trust that God will open doors for me, I trust that God will assist me through the process of completing my degree. I used to feel that trusting God was easy, until he begin to put things in my life that were harder to trust Him for: like growth in my business, expansion in my family’s ministry, healing in my body, and money. Especially money.

 I’m a hard worker and I have often prided myself on my hard work taking me where I desire to go. Now don’t get me wrong, hard work is Biblical. The Bible is very explicit that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). We have to work for and prepare for what we pray for. However, in some ways I was more self-reliant on my hard work taking me where I wanted to go than God reliant. But at some point in every Christian’s walk, we experience challenges and our faith grows through trials. In the process of God growing my faith, I’ve learned a myriad of things. Here are three simple tips on how to grow your faith.

1.      Faith come by hearing: The Bible says that “faith comes by hearing” (Romans 10:17).

Meaning we develop our faith by the consistent hearing of God’s word. If you are not consistently indulging in the word, either by reading, watching or listening to it, your faith is not growing.

2.      Be prepared to grow through challenges: You develop faith by being challenged. If everything was easy breezy we would have no need to trust God right? That being said, you have to expect that you are going to go through various things that will cause you to have to exercise your faith muscles. Maybe it’s being single at 35 and wondering where your Boaz is. Maybe it’s the loss of a best friend to cancer. Maybe it’s a rough patch in a relationship. Maybe it’s a decision you made out of obedience to God that seems as though it is going haywire. Whatever it is, faith is developed out of the difficult parts and you have to be prepared for that.

3.      You must be patient to see the result (and you have to be willing to trust the result): Seeing the fruit of faith takes patience. Sometimes a few moments, sometimes a lifetime. And while I have yet to meet a person who loves developing patience, it is a vital part of the faith component.

Developing faith is simple, but certainly not easy. It takes humility, trust and a lot of patience. But the result of waiting until you see something blossom through in faith is sure to be nothing short of remarkable.

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

Myah's Favorite Bible Study Tools- November 3rd, 2016

Studying the Bible can be daunting. Trust me, I completely understand.  To make my study time more approachable I have a few tools that I often use and want to share.

1.      Hardback Bible and/ or Bible App- You obviously need a Bible to have a Bible study. I use both a hard-back NKJV (it’s a teen edition that I’ve had since I was 11, lol) and BibleGateway. I use Bible Gateway because I can switch back and forth between versions without having to by 20 different translations.

2.      Notebook or journal- I like to write down any insights the Holy Spirit gives me.

3.      Pens, Pencils, Highlighters- to write in said journal.

4.      A guided chapter study, devotional, or Christian book. Now this is optional, but  when I first learned how to have a prayer time, I learned by reading a Christian book (Girl Talk With God) , looking up all of the reference scriptures in my Bible and applying the scriptures to my life. This really helped me learn how to create “context” for the scriptures in what they mean and how they applied to me at that time. You have to be intentional about the writers and devotionals you choose for a guided reading. Some of my favs are Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore and Dave Williams.

5.      Greek and Hebrew Lexicon: I use this when looking to find the original meaning of the words in the scriptures. The Old Testament was originally written in Hebrew and the New Testament Greek, so the meanings of words are not always as obvious at face value. That being said, I often use my Lexicon to show me, exactly what the Holy Spirit was communicating in the meaning behind the text.

6.      Concordance: A concordance is basically like a sourcebook of words where you can find where each word is in the bible. It is fantastic for topical study.

7.      Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary- I like to use this dictionary because it gives the original meaning of words in the English language before social constructionism arose and begin to change the meanings. And yes, I know some of you are thinking, “but all words are socially constructed,” but this dictionary carries a biblical world view in how it approaches the English language.

8.      Index Cards- To write out my memory scriptures or any notes I want to keep handy.

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

How I Stayed Pure in College - November 2, 2016

Often, college is an easy time to lose your footing, on the track toward purity. No one is exempt from temptation. When I was in undergrad I felt immense pressure to be sexually active. I desperately wanted to please God by saving my body and waiting until marriage to have sex; yet I also wanted the guys on campus to like me and to fit in with the “sophisticated” women at my job. Staying pure was an emotional and social fight and in the process, I had to develop coping skills and mechanisms to assist me. Here are some of the things I did and encourage you to do to stay pure in college.

1.      Strong accountability- In order to stay pure, I came under strong accountability. I was very honest about my sexual needs and desires with my accountability partners. It was a no-shame game. I knew I had to be honest in order to stay pure. If I did not express my heart honestly, it would have been easy for me to hide and fall into hidden sin. I let my accountability get “all in my business.” And I can say it has paid off so far. At 26, I am still a virgin and I am still praying and trusting God for my purity.

2.      Find a Christian big sister who is waiting- You need at least one example of a woman who is or has waited until marriage to have sex. I actually had two ladies who were my “purity big sisters.” My Christian big sisters would call me and talk to me about purity and waiting. Sometimes they would send me resources and pray for me. Their guidance greatly helped me to grow spiritually and encouraged me that waiting was actually possible.

3.      Surround yourself with Christian friends: More often than not, non-believers are not going to encourage you to stay pure. Be sure to surround yourself with like-minded Christian friends who will encourage you to maintain your purity. Note, the emphasis on like-minded. If your Christian friends are into premarital sex, then they are not the group you will want around you on the road to purity.

4.      If you can’t find Christian friends, resolve yourself to a period of solitude. One of the prominent reasons I often hear of why people don’t have Christian friends is because they cannot find Christian friends. This is real a experience for many people and this is valid. However, it is not an excuse of why you should lower your standards and choose friends who are not godly. What we meditate on we become like. If you cannot find Christian friends, perhaps God is calling you to a space of solitude or to a time of separation to take you into deeper intimacy with him. Either way, no friends are better than a group of compromising friendships or friends who will lead you into sin.

5.      Read books on purity- Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God (Romans 10:17). If you want to encourage yourself, read Christian books on purity. Some of my faves are Every Young Woman’s Battle (Shannon Ethridge) and The M Word (Debbie Adebayo).

6.      Memorize scriptures on purity- We are transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12:2). Thus, if you want to gain strength in purity, take time and memorize scriptures on the topic It will renew your mind to pursue waiting in a Godly way and will also encourage you in your journey.

7.      Be very selective with whom you date or make a choice not to date at all for a period. There were many times during undergrad when young men would approach me for dates and I knew they were unsaved. Not only does the Bible tell us to not be unequally yoke (2 Corinthians 6:14), it is unwise to date guys who are not on the same track to purity as you are (that includes in thought, word or deed.) For example, if a guy is willing to not “have sex” with you but wants to participate in heavy petting, oral sex, or other modes of sexuality (outside of penetration) he still does not have a godly view of waiting and should not be dating you.

8.      Learn how to control your sexual desires and offer them up unto the Lord. If you a human being, you have sexual hormones. It is what it is. You are going to have times when you are aroused (especially when Aunt Flo pays a visit and your sexual and reproductive hormones are heightened). Arousal is not sin. It is a chemical response that God created. It is what you do with the arousal (outside of marriage specifically) that distinguishes rather or not you honor God. Be honest with the Lord about your physical needs. Express to him what you feel. Then ask Him to help you take control of your flesh. This does not mean he is going to take that natural chemical response away, but rather it means that when you experience times of sexual arousal you will be able to practice self control and put your sexuality in the proper place.

I pray this is helpful!

XOXO,

Myah Lonye’

Resource Friday- Cindy Cruse Ratcliff "Costly" (10-14-16)

What is resource Friday?

Every Friday I feature a musician, poet, author, entrepreneur or speaker who has incredible material. I believe that as Christians we can help one another grow by providing each other with Biblically sound resources. Every resource I suggest is of someone who's work I truly believe in and/or use myself.

This week’s resource: Cindy Cruse Ratcliff’s song “Costly”

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Being a worship leader, I often find myself looking for worship songs that fit into various themes. I love the theme of surrender that Cindy Cruse Ratcliff’s song “Costly” inspires. This song is a great reminder that as believers in Christ we should do any and everything to fulfill the call of obedience, no matter how costly that call is. I encourage you to check it out if you haven’t already.

Happy Listening!

XOXO,

Myah

Wednesday Wares: 10-12-16

Why Clothes?

You may be thinking "Hey, Myah... I thought this was a Christian blog, created to help me grow closer to Christ?" Rest assured ,it is. However, I've felt led to begin incorporating style selections to promote creative style ideas for women who want to be cute and modest. I hope these style choices help in your quest toward conservative and stylish apparel.

 

 

Cardigan and Blouse- Ross

Pants- Old Navy

Shoes- BCBG, from TJ MAXX

White tank under blouse- Cato

Earrings- Walmart

Is Virginity an Outdated Concept?

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Let’s begin here: I am 26 years old and I am still a virgin.

There. I’ve layed it out on the table; and while some of my readers might think “we’ll duh, you’re a Christian, of course you are a virgin.” Many other’s probably gasped a little at the concept. This isn’t for bragging rights, or to showcase how “holy I am.” Trust me; I am the closes thing to flawed that a human being can be. However, in this area of my life, I have a resounding passion to speak up and to speak clearly.

Purity until marriage is not a choice. It is not an outdated concept. It is not unrealistic.

 Rather, purity until marriage is a Christian responsibility and a Christ centered expectation. If you consider yourself to be a Christian, then Christ expects you to be pure until you are in the right circumstances to embrace sexual intimacy- and that would only be in the confounds of a covenant (male and female) marriage.

The Bible is not time-stamped for relevance.

It transcends cultural norms and social constructs. Society tells us that each generation must decide what their norm is, i.e. how they want to live, interact and socialize, how they feel about religion and faith, etc. However, the Bible gives us very strategic instructions on how we should go about living our daily lives and that includes how we should approach sex and sexuality. Here are a few common lies that people often believe about sex outside of marriage and it’s relevance for now.

1.      That it is not “that bad”

Sin is sin. Whether it’s gossip, murder, gluttony or fornication. God holds all unrepentant sin the same. The word of God has deemed sex before marriage, as fornication, which is sin. The promise of sin is hell. (1 Corinthians 6:9-20)

2.      If I fall once, it’s no big deal. God will forgive me.

Yes it’s true that if you ask for forgiveness, God will forgive you. God is a god of forgiveness, but He is not a God who embraces presumptuous sin (sin we intentionally do, with the intent to repent for it after committing it.) It doesn’t bring Him delight. He doesn’t want his children to fall into sexual sin and then repent later. Instead, he wants them to run from sexual immorality.  (Psalm 19:13, 1 Corinthians 6:18)

3.      It’s hard.

 So?  And I mean that in the most caring, sensitive way possible. Dying on the cross is hard. Being mocked, beaten and scorned for things you did not do is hard. Having your children disobey you despite how much you love them is hard. What Jesus did at the cross and what God continually does for us day in and day out is hard.  In comparison, abstaining from sex outside of marriage is not hard. And you can rest assured that it’s certainly a lot easier than hell.

4.      No one waits until marriage these days.

First, let me say that’s not true. While the statistics are not concrete, recent studies reveal that anywhere between 5 % and 30% of the American population waits until their wedding night before engaging in sexual intercourse. Secondly, since when is it okay to decide to embrace sin based on its popularity?  As mama always said, “would you jump off a bridge just because everyone else is doing it?” As Christians, we have to learn to stand for righteousness, because it is right. Nothing more, nothing less.  You don’t get to say, “Well in today’s culture, no one waits until marriage to have sex.” God has no plans to change His mind. If he said don’t do it, he means don’t do it. He’s not looking down from heaven thinking “oh, geez. In 2016, it’s popular to have sex outside of marriage. Let me change My Word and the promises of My Word to fit the social norms of humans in the 21^st century.” Ummm, nope definitely not going to happen.

I won’t tell you my entire story in this blog post (it would be wayyyyy to long. Definitely something I need to share in another post). However, what I can say is that I am empathetic to the difficulties that surround purity. I understand what it feels like to experience sexual abuse and then still have to trust God with my purity. I understand what it feels like to struggle with pornography addiction and then still have to trust God with my purity. I understand what it feels like to have good “Christian” men, attempt to seduce my heart as a means to have my body and then still have to trust God with my purity. I get it. I’ve lived it. But as I’ve walked through the walk of purity, what I’ve found is that ultimately waiting is an act of faith and obedience.

What will you choose?

 

 

 

Heart Check:

1.      What is your approach to purity?

2.      Are there areas of your life where you are not living pure? If so, what are they?

3.      If you are struggling with your purity, what are some tactics of support that you can use to help you overcome the struggle? (i.e. finding accountability? Joining a Bible study on purity, etc.)

4.      Do you have a sister in Christ who is struggling with her purity? If so, in what ways can you assist her in overcoming her struggle?