(I
created this column to provide insight and encouragement to those who are young
and in ministry. I have served on paid ministry staff since I was eighteen
years old and there are so many things I wish people had told me about being a
very young leader. If you’re young and in ministry (or regardless of age, if
you’re in ministry at all) I truly hope this encourages you.
Some of the greatest rejection I have experienced has been in ministry. When it comes to ministry, not many things are promised, but one thing that is promised, is that you will get hurt. In ministry, you are dealing with people. People are broken. Hurting. Selfish. Messy. And so are leaders. When you combine brokenness, and sin nature, at some point someone is going to get hurt and often that someone is the leader. Here are a few tips on how to handle rejection in ministry.
1. Remember Jesus was rejected: And
scoffed at. And mocked. When you’re feeling the pain and sting of rejection.
Read the gospels. Jesus was rejected in ministry. He was doubted, told that he
wasn’t good enough, and some places completely refused to hear from him. Yet,
none of that pain or rejection could deter him, because he knew he was called
of God. He wasn’t called of people, but he was called by the Lord to do the
Lord’s work.
2. Ask God how he can use
your pain for His glory: Each time I experienced
rejection in ministry, it took me deeper into my walk with Jesus. Because I was
going deeper in Christ and in the process of transformation, my light shined
brighter and Christ became even more glorified. Ask God how he can use your
rejection in ministry to shine his light even brighter.
3. Don’t use pain as an
opportunity to gossip: When a parishioner rejects you, this
is never an opportunity to gossip about them (not even with other leaders.) I
understand when you’ve been hurt you want to get vindication, but gossiping is
not the way to do it. Instead, if you are feeling the urge to gossip, cry out
to the Lord on that person’s behalf and ask the Lord to heal your heart.
4. Remember that we battle
not against flesh and blood: When you are rejected in
ministry, always remember this. Usually the rejection is not personal (even
when it feels very, very personal). Most times, it is a reflection of a
spiritual battle that person is facing.
5. Know that it’s okay to
set boundaries: If someone has rejected you in ministry
it is okay to set a boundary with them. There was an individual in our ministry
who was slandering the leadership. The slander was causing division in the
church and was greatly impacting some of the younger Christians in the body.
News of the gossip had gotten back to the leaders and this person was lovingly,
but firmly confronted and told to stop the slander. The person was told that if
the slander did not stop, they would be asked to find a new church home. There
is nothing un-Godly or unloving about this. If you have someone who is consistently
hurting or rejecting you in ministry, you have a right to set a boundary.
6. Have a tribe that loves
you unconditionally: Be sure to have friends, family and
other pastors who love you and encourage you.
7. Take a break, but don’t
walk away: Ministry is great, but very hard.
Sometimes, you need a break so you won’t become bitter. That’s perfectly fine!
If you are feeling emotionally depleted due to ministry rejection, take a
break. Ask an assistant pastor to fill in for you. Have someone else lead
worship that week. Disconnect from social media for a while so you don’t have
to hear comments from parishioners. It’s okay to take a break from ministry to
re-coup and keep from completely walking away.
I hope this helps!
Myah
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